Michael Hutchison: January 2007 Archives

Here's a follow-up about Cartoon Network's inept campaign to publicize Aqua Teen Hunger Force. See the video on the right of the page. Some more pictures would really help us to understand the nature of the "devices" scattered around Boston, but from what I can tell, they appear to be a computer keyboard and a Lite Brite showing Err (one of the Mooninites).

I think Cartoon Network may be learning the danger of trying something like this with a character that is not known to the general public. Let's face it, if the police found a Lite Brite with Daffy Duck on it, they wouldn't think it was a terrorist plot.

If you also don't know what the Mooninites are, here are examples.

Actually, Inept isn't the right word for the campaign, because an hour ago I had no idea there was going to be an Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie in theaters and now I know about it. This post is late because I've been going back and forth over posting it for just that reason. I feel like I'm assisting scalawags.

One of the most frustrating parts of working in advertising (as I did from 1994-1996) was the mentality that an advertisement wasn't bad if you remembered what they were advertising. As we had our radio station on in the sales offices, I'd hear bad ads and get them stuck in my head, and when I kvetched to the sales staff about how I could not get that irritating Kay Jewelers spot from running over and over in my head the salesman would beam about how it was a successful ad because I remembered the client's store name. It didn't matter to him that it was the most schmaltzy stupid ad and I hated the client and would never shop there just because I couldn't escape the stupid jingle.

In the late 1990s Old Navy was running the most irritatingly awful ads with the Jeffersons, Morgan Fairchild, Magic the dog, Fran Drescher, a monkey, L'il Kim, Josh Holloway (yes, Sawyer on "Lost"), and some old woman in glasses who is the spitting image of Stan Freberg. The point was to catch your eye with cameos...well, they can't really be called cameos...and then infect your brain with inescapable jingles. I vowed then and there to never ever buy an Old Navy product. I don't care that they've gone on to different ad campaigns; they must suffer because I had to suffer through "Old Navy! Old Navy! Old Navy Performance FLEECE!!" I can't see their logo without that jingle starting to scream in my brain again, so I couldn't possibly go into their store.

And I bet if any Old Navy ad person reads my post he'll say, "It worked!" It doesn't matter if I want to run screaming from the room jamming knives into my hand to distract me from the pain of the advertisement being on TV; he'll consider it a successful spot because I recognized the Old Navy brand.

My point is, Cartoon Network is apologizing...but unless there's a massive financial penalty paid for this stunt, there's no way you'll convince their marketing executives that this wasn't a great idea.

Shhh! Don't tell kids that they're not allowed to read comic books because they're all PG-13 content (except for the hard R-brutality). So far as kids know, superheroes are still for them!

The proof is all around me. This summer, my neighbor kids went nuts when they saw all the comic book stuff I was selling. Despite only knowing Green Lantern from the Cartoon Network cartoons, they knew most of my PVC figures. They begged their mom for money to buy some TPBs, and I hastily searched my memory of each one for content that was inappropriate. I finally settled on "JLA: WWIII" as something they might like.

Now one of my best friends has posted his video of his kids singing the Batman and Spider-Man themes. The odd thing is that they love the characters but haven't actually seen either of the TV shows the themes are from!

I'm trying to get Christian to start them on Underdog and someday the barbershop 1988 version of Mighty Mouse.

Can't help it. I'm on a Lileks kick, as I'm listening to his old podcasts.

In this Bleatcast, he claims that "every era gets the Batman it deserves", and he examines the music of every Batman. (Okay, okay, every major Batman. I know there are others like the serials and the animated shows, etc.) You can listen to it embedded in the page, or you can download the MP3. (I dug up the code by examining the source of that page. YOU'RE WELCOME.)

James Lileks analyzes "The Peculiar Art of Mr. Frahm", a pin-up artist given to drawings of women placed in compromising positions by an armful of groceries and undergarments that don't follow the laws of science. Lileks poses the question of whether it's the celery in every picture which causes the accident.

Oddly enough, he later discovers the true cause when a mysterious murder leads him on a merry chase about The Truth hidden in Art Frahm's artwork; it happens in his June 2nd podcast of The Diner.

Don't read this until you've read "52 Week 38".

That's the one with the three Horsemen figures on the cover.

Yeah, that's three characters standing in front of each other so that you have to squint at the monstrosity to make sense of it, especially since you've never seen these characters before. What was that we were discussing on this blog last week about poor composition?

Spend a Night in the Bat Cave. This is a hotel room made up of Bat-memorabilia. You can pretend you're Batman, except that Batman sleeps in a regular bedroom in Wayne Manor.

Sounds awesome! Oh wait...it's a kids' room.

Wellllllll...that's OK, I guess. I mean, lots of kids would love to stay in a Batman room.

Darn.

Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis #48 contains a map of Atlantis which Kurt Busiek created after asking for information from everyone's buddy John Wells. John tells me he included every underwater society he could find, including the race that kidnapped Elongated Man on his honeymoon.

I need to blow off some steam after that last post.

If anyone cares, the Oscar list is also up. The Academy Awards continues its decline.

This list puts me to sleep. Going all the way down into the bottom of the list, I've only seen three movies: Cars, Superman Returns and United 93.

Cars, mind you, is such a good film that it should be up for Best Picture, if only the Oscars hadn't created that stupid Animated category as a way of saying that animated films will never be recognized as real films. Some years it's a struggle to come up with three truly Oscar-worthy animated films to fill that category.

How is it possible that the Oscars can continue to have any pull with the popular culture when, again and again, they go for movies that the public doesn't even care about? Let me just stop you here and fend off a few obvious responses: I'm all for highlighting excellent films that the public may overlook, and I'm not saying that putrid overblown over-budgeted trash like "Armageddon" should be getting Best Picture just because it makes a lot of money.

Here's what I am saying:

The Razzies 2006 Nominees are now up. I'm glad to see that they call out "Little Man" as an out and out theft of a Looney Tunes Cartoon.

However, I have to disagree with their lambasting of "Lady in the Water," which I just watched two nights ago. I think the unhappiness with that one is a relative thing: people don't like it because they want and expect a truly great film from M. Night Shyamalan. Back around the time of "Signs", a magazine heralded him as the "new Spielberg." I fear he's far more akin to Orson Welles, who made such a world-shaking debut that all successive films are paling in comparison. "Unbreakable" was a fine film, but it wasn't "The Sixth Sense". "The Village" was well-made and acted, but the script was many rewrites away from ready and the end result was a real stinker.

Watching "Lady in the Water" is hardly a bad way to spend an evening. It's a charming bit of new mythology, telling the tale of a building superintendent who discovers a sea nymph living in the apartment building's pool. His quest to help her on her journey leads him to do what he can to research her mythology (nobody ever seems to have access to the Internet in Shyamalan movies, so he has to get it translated from an old Asian woman in his building).
Bob Balaban steals the film; his scenes make it worth it. The movie is hardly worth razzing in comparison to the lesser schlock Hollywood turns out.

For example, Superman Returns deserves more razzing than just a worst supporting actress nom.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Trailer 2

I know I'm supposed to supply links and commentary, but I honestly don't know what to say about this. They were making TMNT movies up to the mid-1990s, so this isn't exactly like rediscovering some forgotten, beloved property. People still joke about TMNT lunchboxes and underoos. I think they're just tired. I was a little interested in the first trailer because it seemed so edgy that I figured maybe they were ditching the kid's stuff with all the pizza and "dude" slang and instead taking it back to the original concept of the comic books. But here's trailer 2 and look: Pizza and Dude. Oh, and burping. Gotta have burping in any trailer if you want to appeal to kids.

Huh, I guess I was able to whistle up some commentary, even if it does depress me to bits.

This week, the "secret of 52" was revealed in the text page at the back of DC's comics. A long, pointless ramble of text clearly hides a secret message. All you have to do is figure out the code.

To discover what it was, I employed the surefire method that always works. Namely, I didn't do a dang thing because I knew someone else would figure it out. Twenty minutes after I finished reading, I opened my e-mail to find this missive from Don Smith.

I have a folder of bookmarks just for silly bits that will cheer me up in an instant. The main one I turn to in moments of stress is, of course, khaaan.com. James Lileks' "Yeargh!" is great for a smile. Chewbacca singing Silent Night was my last addition to the list after I posted it in December.

And now there's the Muslim Rave Party Sensation.

I've been looking forward to the "24" Season Six launch because I love the show...but also because I enjoy SarahK's 24 episode summaries. Unfortunately, given that something just happened to a favorite character of hers...one that she said throughout last season that if something happened to him she was going...there may only be three summaries this year.

Alas, SarahK's 24 summaries. We hardly knew ye.

UPDATE: She's doin' 'em anyway because she loves her husband!

The Agony Booth reviews the Aquaman Pilot Episode.

On a personal note, I thought you'd all be relieved to know that I finally have a job again. Yes, you can get off of your pins and needles now. I got a job as a freelance web designer with Mayo (the clinic, not the condiment).

Hard to believe it was the end of July when I was laid off. I'd just seen "Superman Returns" and was gearing up for a major review of it on Monitor Duty, and then losing my job took the wind out of my sails. I think I've actually posted much less frequently when I didn't have a job because when you're unemployed you have to use all your time productively, either looking for a job, making money in other ways or doing chores around the house so you don't feel totally useless.

My first thought when I was laid off was that I'd finally have time to write intensively and get Metro Med's script finished up. Instead, I never even touched the script in those five months (due to, as I said, the need to job hunt and be productive, and writing a script for something that may never turn a profit is not "productive"). That turned out to be okay because in the end Phil Meadows found that he no longer had time to devote to being a comic book artist and Shooting Star Comics folded up shop. No, the project's not dead, not at all...but I think the name for what's happening now would be "re-tooling". I have to find a new art team and a new comic company, and I have to find out if I'm doing a mini, an ongoing, a graphic novel, etc., before I can get the script completed.

The first trailer for Shrek 3 is now up!

Isn't it too bad that Coca Cola stopped making Surge five years ago?

In marketing, timing is everything.

Aquaman? No, it's BATFISH!

EDIT: I see cplotter beat me to it. Once again, there is nothing I can have that he cannot take away. Curse you, Belloq!

Dimestore Productions unveils Small Press Idol 2007. This is the contest that Phil Meadows and I won a couple years ago. You pitch a new comic book, and the winner gets published.

Director James Cameron to make first movie in 10 years.

In his first film since Titanic, James Cameron is going to make a 3D film due in 2009. Called "Avatar", it will combine photography and photorealistic CG. The filming is all in controlled conditions... no water, no weather, and so it should avoid the cost overruns of Titanic.

Hopefully, unlike George Lucas, Cameron will manage to get his actors to act well while interacting with nonexistent characters.

Flash A-Ah: Savior Of the SciFi Channel

Sci-Fi is developing a Flash Gordon TV series that it hopes will draw viewers now that Battlestar Galactica's ratings are dipping.

I guess this means the end of the Internet.

In another example of TV content via the Internet, Ebert & Roeper is now replaying the whole show online. What's more, it begins playing as soon as you open the site.

It's a neat move for Ebert and Roeper, not that Ebert's content is present, as he's been sick for most of 2006. One wonders if Ebert will ever be back. Longtime readers know that I'm no fan of Ebert's political views which taint far too many of his reviews, but when it comes to straightforward film analysis and history there are few better than him. He's even better when providing film commentery tracks for DVDs of "Citizen Kane" and "Dark City."

By the way, of all the guest hosts, I think Aisha Tyler was the best and if she had the co-host duties permanently I'd be for it. Her perspective is youthful and she comes at movies from an insider's view. Plus, check out her review of "Holiday"; it's like she's a chick who can appreciate "Chick Flicks" but she's more like a guy's gal who'd rather be going to a guy's movie. And it can't hurt after 20 years of the old fat guy and the old bald guy to have a movie reviewer who is pleasing to behold.

They pegged me!

Like it says, I think I speak English right out of the dictionary. And I'm an English major, so I was afraid that would affect my ability to represent my area, but they somehow figured me out.

I use "soda", "pop" and "soda pop" interchangeably. I've never really been clear on which one is correct for my part of the country.

Here's an oddity. I grew up calling water fountains "bubblers". I picked it up from other kids. Then I'd move and sometimes people looked at me like I'd made up an alien term. But I was just moving back and forth in Wisconsin/Iowa/Minnesota. It's not like I was going to Texas and Alaska! Wish I knew what the linguistic map is for use of that word.

Just got back from Jimmy Jams. Lean week, actually. The only thing in my pull list is "52". I perused the shelf holding the week's newly arrived Trade Paperbacks and grabbed the second volume of "Manhunter".

Manhunter is one of those books, like "Hourman", that every comic afficianado says you should be reading. That it's unappreciated, that not enough people are picking it up, that it's one of the best books you're not reading, etc. I read the first trade. It's not too shabby, but it's not exactly James Robinson's "Starman" either. I think many of the kudos are because it's about a female character who is written smartly and has a realistic body.

In the last year, I've begun making the transition to "wait for the trade". It's hard for me to do that, because even though it's financially advantageous and it makes the work more accessible to re-readings, I feel like I'm not doing my part to support the books I like. The comic book market is so bad...so very, very bad... that if I don't buy a book, that's like losing 1/4th of the total readership. Readership is so low that they probably know the names of all their readers, and if I decide to drop a book and get the trade instead they're going to send me a postcard to find out why I'm not picking it up.

I think they made that showcase reprint of Elongated Man just for me. I don't know if you noticed it, but when Sue Dibny was killed off, if you look very closely at the handle of the magnifying glass you can see the words "Sorry Michael" in the hatching. Seriously. You'll need a magnifying glass to see it, which is cute. Because, you know, it's written on the magnifying glass.

My point is, readership is way way way way waywayway down.

Nevertheless, I've made some trade transitions...or Tradesitions, as I like to call them. Let me just trademark that:

TRADESITIONS™

Dangit! I just realized that I forgot to buy a subscription to PvP The Series before the end of 2006!

had it on my Christmas List, but it was a late addition. My wife already bought me enough stuff from my list, like the Kensington Trackball, "America Alone" and the "Government Manual for New Superheroes". And when I didn't get the Homestar Runner merch on my list, I bought the Instant Fan Combo myself. So our spending is all maxed out and I wasn't going to buy anything else I didn't get from my list.

But the price of the PvP subscription jumps $10 if you don't buy it before the end of 2006. And I didn't. Completely forgot. Nuts.

Oh wait! I just went to the site and it's still $20. I don't know if this is an oversight or I missed an announcement about extending the deal. Welp...spread the word, I guess. Just, not too loudly.

P.S. Here's something weird. Yesterday, BEFORE this post was up, I saw "America Alone" as one of the four books in the ad generated at the top of the site. I don't believe I've ever mentioned that book before...though I have mentioned Mark Steyn a couple times. Still, you wouldn't think a couple mentions in the entire history of the site would be enough to affect the ad. Frankly, I don't get how Amazon's generated ads work. All too often I see an ad for a book called "The Green Lantern" and it's a Stalinist Russian romance.

It's bizarre, but I can't get any takers for this rare Batman poster on eBay. I've run the auction twice and not gotten any bids, so now I don't get reimbursed for the charges of listing it twice. I'm really surprised no one's bidding on it.

It's a poster that was created only for a Campbell's giveaway, and 100 of the 125 posters were given to young kids and are presumably in bad condition. This poster is so rare that I cannot FIND it on the entire Internet. Even Campbell's web site didn't show the poster when they ran the contest. At the FallCon auction where I got it, the bidding was fierce. I figure I overpaid in the end and wouldn't make the money back if I sold it, but that was fine with me since it was for charity. Still, I didn't think there wouldn't be any takers.

So now I'm selling this thing with a starting price of only $20. I hadn't promoted this auction here, and maybe in retrospect I should have, but I don't really want Monitor Duty to become "Michael Makes A Buck Central".

(Well, not any more than it already is. By the way, be sure to visit our aStore and check out TooManyLongBoxes.com)

Also, 25% of the auction price will go to Operation Gratitude, a charity I've been supporting for the last two years.

Our first bit of comic book news is my comic book web site now has a new name and a new DOMAIN!

http://www.toomanylongboxes.com

And with that out of the way, I can begin working on my new project for Monitor Duty.