Michael Hutchison: November 2006 Archives

I'm still building it as we speak, but I'm giving out the URL now:
Monitor Duty's aStore

Every time I buy bananas, I end up looking them over tentatively. Why?

A beautiful bunch of ripe ba-na-na
(daylight come and me wanna go ho-ome)
hide de deadly BLACK TARONCHLA!
(daylight come and me wanna go home)

i know, I know, it's a goofy song and tarantulas aren't even deadly, but I think of that every time I am in the supermarket. Belafonte has had me creeped out for decades now because of his stupid little hit song.

And now there's an actual deadly spider hiding in storebought grapes in my state! Aagh!

It's getting so an arachnophobe can't go to the store these days!

[WARNING: Angry, angry rant follows. If you want to skip over the screaming and find out where this impacts you, just scroll down to the bold part.]

Spam is getting to be far more than just an annoyance.

Here on Monitor Duy, our comments get spammed all the time. Our trackbacks get spammed. Our message board was losing visitors because the spam posts were so constant. Dealing with this spam is just getting to be too much, even with filters. It's just enough of a daily hassle that it makes this site an unpleasant chore.

And now, after a long respite, the spammers are kicking into overdrive for the holidays. I know this because they spoof my domain's address. They find a list of established domains and send out spams that hide their sender's real information by claiming to be from that domain. Thus the sender field reads "fred-at-fanzing.com" and "jimmy-at-fanzing.com", the first name generated at random, and the recipient doesn't know who is really sending it.

A victimless crime? Not when I get 400 e-mails in six hours all addressed to nonexistent fanzing.com users. I have to deal with all the bounced e-mails that I didn't send, all the "I'm out of the office" notifications, all the spam-weeding systems that ask me to sign in before my original spam message that I didn't send can go through. I try setting up rules and filters to deal with all of this, but legit e-mails always end up paying the price.

I don't even get why there are spammers. Can there really be any people left taking stock advice from an e-mail from someone they don't know with a subject line "Outbursts not incongruent" followed by a two page fiction story to mask the e-mail's content hidden in a graphic? I recognize the principle at work here, that of casting a wide net and catching just a few, but I can't believe it pays at all anymore. Yet spammers continue to be relentless.

Why can't you see your comments on this site until I approve them? SPAMMERS! Why do e-mails to me get lost or not read for days? SPAMMERS! And why do I have to write "fred-at-" instead of "fred@"? Because SPAMMERS steal e-mail addresses from web pages.

Spammers take everything wonderful about the world and turn it to crap.

Spammers should be shot in the head...and I'm suggesting such a fast, painless death merely so that the proposition can gain a wider appeal. What I truly wish would happen to them involves ferrets.

Henceforth and heretoforthwith this site now requires a Typekey ID to comment. I'm sorry to have to do this, but as I said, spammers ruin everything good. The upside of this is that all comments will now appear instantly.

I ran this by you a couple months back and some of you said you wouldn't get a Typekey ID. Your reasons are your own, but I wish you weren't afraid of it. Here's the Typekey main page, and check out the short signup page which asks for just a name and e-mail. Your information is totally secure, and once you've signed in you can comment more easily than before.

I realize some of you said you prefered the confirmation code box. I realize that it's a satisfying alternative for the really desperate libertarian or those who crave total anonymity, but these things are at the very least a hassle and sometimes they're dang near impossible to read. Every time I contribute to the Homestar Runner Wiki I have to squint and try to determine whether a line is an uppercase I or a lowercase L, whether the squiggly thing is a u or a v and whether it's a small uppercase or large lowercase. FORGET IT! It's ridiculous to install a hassle when Typekey is hassle-free.

The only downside I can see is that our most-commented-on-post ever will not receive any more comments.

Until we can hunt spammers for sport, this will have to do.

These people made a Non-Newtonian Fluid from water and cornstarch. Result? It's a liquid, but if you hit it with enough force it's solid. You can run across the surface of the fluid as if it's a sheet of Jell-o, even when someone else is floating in it like it's a swimming pool.

Just water and cornstarch. Amazing that this isn't something we've heard of before. You'd think fraternities would be whipping this stuff up for fundraisers.

Comment by JHoughton on MAKE:

"Two 50# bags of cornstarch from a food products supplier. That part's easy. Getting rid of the Oobleck afterwards is a bit of a pain.
N.B. Don't try to run it down the drain. It didn't really work with the hotel bathtub full that I was involved with. Turns out it doesn't decompose quickly when left outside, either."

Hat tips to TechEBlog and MAKE.

Watch Intro Clips of 1980s Cartoons

This guy's linked to YouTube hosted videos of the openings from many Saturday morning cartoons. Some of these are my favorites... like...

Scott Kurtz announced today the 2007 launch of "PvP: The Series", a hand-drawn animated cartoon that will be viewable on the web for subscribers only. Subscriptions are $19.95 for the next month, after which they will be $29.95.

Pop Art Inspired by Lichtenstein - Online Tutorial at Melissa Clifton

This is a "simple" tutorial for using Photoshop to convert your photos into comic books (or "pop art" as it says here; same diff!).

This hardly seems fair. Michael McKean of Spinal Tap is playing on Celebrity Jeopardy and they have an entire category on Stonehenge? How is that fair?

I never understood why Saturday Night Live was insinuating that Jeopardy dumbs down the questions when celebs are on the show, but I guess it's true.

Fore more on the story: U.S. Secretary of Education loses big on Celebrity Jeopardy

And if you didn't get my subject line, you haven't seen the first episode of Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL. Sorry, I couldn't find it on Youtube...but I did find this one:

New Line Cinema informs Peter Jackson his services aren't required for "The Hobbit"

It sounds like this is directly the result of a lawsuit which Jackson brought against New Line regarding the reported profits for "Fellowship of the Ring."

It's sad that Jackson will not be involved since LOTR was his baby and while any other director will most likely reuse the Hobbiton set and follow in his footsteps, the honor should really go to Jackson.

On the other hand, Jackson's absence from the project means that "The Hobbit" will clock in about 47 minutes shorter now.

Director Robert Altman dead at age 81

Christmas Vacation re-enacted in 30 seconds by Bunnies.

A few years ago, Adult Swim did these short bits called "Not For Air" which played during commercial breaks. They consist of real cartoon footage that are either edited or redubbed. Here is one of them.

I wish I could find the other one I've seen, where Fred Flintstone is arguing with Wilma.

UPDATE: I removed the part where I said that Fred complains about Pebbles smelling like dinosaur doo-doo because that was a mismatched memory. I was thinking of Harvey Birdman. But there IS a Flintstones "Not For Air" where it looks like they're swearing at each other.

Someone call Bartlett's:

"On the other hand, if you can't say something nice, welcome to the internet!" - Posted on Dixonverse November 14, 2006

I had to preserve it for posterity, since the Dixon board drops posts after a week.

I dare you to not love this!

This is one of the beauties of YouTube. How could this guy NOT get a job with Pixar (if he wants it) after doing this cartoon?

Thanks to Tony Cranfield!

I'm really not on the ball for you guys, and I'm sorry. Here the Spiderman 3 trailer has been out for three days already and I hadn't linked you to it yet.

Enjoy!

I always thought that "bastiches" was a swear word made up for Lobo. It's obviously a gender-neutral combo of "bastards" and, begging your pardon, "bitches". (Odd thought: Can't a woman be a bastard if her parents aren't married?) It's an interesting way to disguise moderately-offensive curse words into a form that can make it into a cartoon.

I was listening to one of James Lileks' The Diner podcasts, "Triskettasketphobia" from October 13th. I'd link you all directly to the episode, but Lileks keeps hosting the Diner on Mac.com and he exceeds its bandwidth restrictions constantly. Anyway, while watching a local baseball game, he curses the opposing players as "bastiches".

It's possible Lileks is a Lobo fan. It's also possible that I've been wrong all this time and bastich is an old expression that wasn't coined by Lobo comics. Anyone know the answer?

All hail the hypno-toad!

Reposted from PVP's blog: Get to know Sheldon.

My friend Dave Kellett was one of those aspiring cartoonists with a dream to one day get picked up by a syndicate.

Unlike most aspiring cartoonists, however, Dave pulled it off. His comic strip Sheldon was “web-syndicated” at Comics.com. By “web-syndicated” I mean that they offered to host his strip on their site with the caveat that should it prove popular enough, they might consider actually doing something with it one day.

After a couple years, Dave decided to break away from Comics.com and return to offering Sheldon from his own website at Sheldoncomics.com.

The problem is that during the final week on the syndicate website, the editors at Comics.com decided to edit out anything that let Sheldon readers know of the impending move.

If you are a Sheldon fan, and you are under the false assumption that your favorite strip has ended or disappeared, I am happy to inform you that is NOT the case.

You can find it at Sheldoncomics.com, a part of the Blank Label Comics group.

I’m worried that Sheldon fans cant find the strip. If you have a blog, spread the word.

Cops in England dress up as Batman and Robin to nail some thieves.

Believe it or not...the costumes succeeded in frightening the crooks!

"The man ate bacon at every meal... you just can't do that!"

I ended up completely missing the news that the great Jack Palance had passed away on Friday. Amazingly enough, the rugged old cowboy lived another 15 years past making the hilarious "City Slickers"...even outliving Bruno Kirby, who played one of the yuppies having a mid-life crisis.

I mainly knew Palance from his hosting "Ripley's Believe It Or Not." That was a great show (nothing like the new one hosted by Dean Cain). The main thing I remember about watching it was that it was on around dinnertime on Sundays, so my family would watch it during Sunday dinner. Before the food arrived, there'd be stories about how much gold there in the world or how long a football game takes if ; as soon as there was something hot and ready to eat, without fail the program would run a segment that was really gross. I'd be biting into my fried chicken while a tribesman cuts his lip open and sticks a disk in it, eating mashed potatoes when they show the victim of a face-removing accident, or spooning up the pudding just as a praying mantis begins chewing the head off her mate while they're mating. It became a running gag in my house.

However, I began to realize that Palance wasn't just some host with a cool voice when I saw one of the all-time great westerns, "Shane".

My only other exposure to Palance (aside from his part in "Batman"...no, no Amazon link, you all own a copy) was in this odd TV movie, "The Ivory Ape," that kept popping up on ABC again and again in the 1980s. I must have seen the same part of the movie five times, but I've never seen the whole thing. Fortunately, the part I did see was a great monologue by Palance's big game hunter character about shooting a kid. (No, no, by accident.)

In just four short years, my friend Bob Lipski's comic book "Uptown Girl" has gone from an independent monthly comic to a live action movie and now, a pilot for an animated series! I had the honor of seeing the full pilot today at its premier here in Rochester, MN. Bob, co-writer Brian Bastian (of "Tommy Chicago"), two of the voice actors and one of the animators from Monkey with a Mustache Entertainment were all on hand to talk to the attendees.

There will be another showing of the animated series pilot on Monday, November 13th, at the Sumner Community Library in Minneapolis. Showtime is 6PM. For information, call 612-630-6390.

Here, check out a clip from the pilot!

I found the pilot to be satisfyingly funny and it has some nice 3D animation mixed in with the 2D. There are some rough bits of animation, particularly when the characters turn around (witness the cat which blends as it turns around), and the pacing could be better, though that's just a matter of editing. it's a promising pilot, though; the main point is to get across the characters' relationships and the style of the proposed series. It stays very close to the nature of the comic, though Uptown Girl now works for a fictitious paper, Mean Mr. Mustard is now black (perhaps he always was; the book is black and white!) and Mr. Claw has gained a Japanese upbringing.

I think this could make for a great daytime series on TV. If anything, there may be a problem in targeting the show just because it has a lot of wry humor that adults can appreciate, though the show can be watched by young kids. It's too clean to be on Adult Swim, even though it's funnier than some of the junk in the Adult Swim line-up.

If anything, it makes me think of Homestar Runner, which is also safe for kids and funny to adults. Perhaps that's a better business model. Online cartoons would draw an audience who could buy the books (and eventually plush toys, T-shirts, hats, maquettes, action figures, DVDs of the episodes, etc.), with the added benefit that Lipski wouldn't have fo sign away his creation to a network.

Well, we shall see what happens, and I wish Bob and Brian the best. It must be great to go from publishing via Kinko's to pitching to TV in just a couple years!

Hey! Look what I found! Want to see a wannabe Tarantino crime drama called "The Accomplice" made by the Monkey with a Mustache? It's like "Reservoir Dogs" made by 19-year-olds. Dang, this is a pretty big movie file. I hope I don't kill their traffic. I was playing it while I wrote this up. Parts of this are exceptionally good, especially the Chinese food part. Good storytelling.

"Superman Returns" is barely a break-even movie, and it had a LOT of problems and took itself way too seriously with a disturbing plotline where Superman's courting Lois would be breaking up a family and it's just not a very enjoyable, fun movie... but they're going to make another one.

Bryan Singer Signs On for Superman Returns 2

Be sure to revisit the Venture Brothers thread below for an update.

Now, a new BLEG:

Anyone know where I can find "Hobbit Ride", Brock's Zep-esque jock rock from the pilot episode?

I've had to turn up the spam-sensitivity of our system to deal with all of the comment spam our site has been getting. A lot of it has been getting through and I know the contributors to the site are annoyed by it. So 24 hours ago I cranked up the spam-detector's sensitivity level just a tiny bit (previously set to 0 out of 10, I moved it to 2) ... and in reviewing the junk comments I found several legit comments for Alan Kistler's latest article. I don't know what the commenters did to warrant registering as spam, but clearly the sensitivity is too high.

Frankly, I'm sick of dealing with spam comments. We get 200 spam comments a day, easily, and a good portion of those slip past the filter. I am this close...okay, you can't see me, but hold your fingers like you're pinching salt for a recipe or stating how much talent Anna Nicole Smith has...to setting our system to "approved commenters only". This means that anyone would be free to comment so long as they were registered with Typekey, a simple process which takes about a minute.

Honestly, I love having Typekey for comments. All I have to do is log into Typekey once a week (with cookies activated, of course) and then I don't have to fill in my name and e-mail every time I want to comment. That alone is reason enough for most of you to go get a Typekey I.D. The beauty of going to Typekey-only is that I could turn off the notification system and stop spending time approving comments every day...and the users would all see their comments appear instantaneously, which would put an end to the duplicate comments that I get about once a week from someone who thinks their comments didn't go through.

The only thing against doing this, of course, is that some people won't do it. Either they just don't want to have to register for yet another thing on the Internet, which I totally understand, or they are paranoid about any one of a few dozen conspiracies about registering. I suspect it's mostly the former, as the amount of "anonymous" e-mail from bogus names and e-mails is pretty low. I just hate to do anything which will inhibit comments, since we thrive on them as our only form of remuneration for what we do...but this spam thing has reached my critical mass point.

The only alternative is one of those Goshorful plugins for a "code that the computers can't read" that you have to retype before submitting, and I hate those even more than I hate constant political ads on TV! Because 9 times out of 10 I can't read those codes either! You get a too-tiny rectangle with some skinny orange sans serif letters set against a plaid background with scratches across it, trying to make out whether the V is lowercase or uppercase or whether this line is a capital I, a lowercase l or a lowercase j.

Who needs that? Does anyone really want me to institute THAT over the simplicity and efficiency of a Typekey-only policy?

I need you all to sound off here. Where do you stand? For the moment, comments are still wide open, so speak up. I'm listening, Seattle.

UPDATE!
Your feedback so far makes it clear that I have TOTALLY neglected to inform you of one vital bit of information:

E-mail addresses can NOT be gleaned from our comments. Moveable Type encrypts e-mail addresses within the system so that they can display but cannot be read by spam robots. Your e-mail addresses are protected.

And I shouldn't need to even say this, but neither Monitor Duty nor Typekey/Sixapart are going to use your e-mail addresses for spam.

As for the people who want us all to go to typing in a frustrating passcode every time we want to comment, even if we already have an easy-to-use and hard-to-spam Typekey account, it ain't going to happen. I will shut down the site, burn the backup disks, kill my pets and vote for the Green Party before I do that.