Michael Hutchison: June 2006 Archives
Grand Prize: 1 DELUXE SUPERMAN STATUE
First Prize: 3 DF SUPER SIGNATURE SIGNED SET
Ends July 5th. Good luck everyone. Don't forget to enter our Superman Returns contest below.
One more thing:
The Ollie Queen story has been an outright firestorm. So far, 30 comments (about six or so by me) in 24 hours! It's been great to have such an intelligent discussion with input from so many individuals.
I just want you all to understand that, after about 5PM Friday, no more comments will appear on the site until July 4th unless you're a Typekey user. (Typekey users will see their posts appear instantly, without needing approval by an administrator.) Please refrain from posting again and again just because your comment hasn't appeared; it is merely awaiting verification. Ordinarily, I'd log in from my parents' home to approve comments, but they won't have Internet quite yet.
I'm heading out for the weekend. In case you've all noticed the long absences and grumpiness, it's like this.
In the space of two short weeks, my mom has a birthday (today), my parents move into their new home (tomorrow), my dad retires from preaching (had a party last weekend, but it's officially next week) and my mom retires from teaching (that's already happened; school's over), my parents celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary (July 9th) and my dad has his birthday. They've spent the last five years fixing up this rundown farmhouse into a renovated dreamhouse, and since it's been so far from ready to move in I've spent almost every weekend up at their place three hours away helping out. I've missed some work, and now it's July 4th and I have to take another two days off, unpaid. I've lost about a week's pay in the last month.
All this talk about supply and demand? Here's the deal: I need money, and you guys need comics.
Fortunately, Collectorz just released Comic Collectorz 3.0 which has a custom database of comic book listings. I haven't had much time, but I've spent the last two nights hastily updating as many of the comics in my collection to include titles and covers. I'm nowhere near finished, but it's time for me to head out on another 180 mile drive tonight so I'll have to make do with what I've updated so far.
As soon as I get home from work, I'm going to spend an hour exporting the all-new listings to my Comic Relief site, then uploading them to the server. Then I have to drive for three hours (THIS weekend, traffic may be terrible, so maybe four) and take apart all my parents' electronics before I can go to bed. So, on your lazy July 4th extended weekend, while you're all lounging around wondering what to do and I'm helping move my mom's piano and my dad's fifty boxes of model cars, please swing on by, check out the listings and place some orders. I will fulfill them next Tuesday when I get back.
What? My whining's not enough? Ahh, you hypocrites with your "I was raised to believe in Christian charity", but when I need money, where are you?! Bah! OK, fine, I'll sweeten the pot.
From now through Wednesday, as a special deal ONLY to the Monitor Duty readers, when you spend $20 or more at my Comic site and check out using the shopping cart, there's an area for comments. Mention the "MDDeal" and then choose one of the following:
* A free copy of Mysterious Visions Anthology #1, which reprinted my 8 page Metro Med story and is a very nice printing. I'll sign it if you like.* A crappy sketch of a character of your choice. Be warned, I'm not an artist. No really, I mean it. You're getting an absolutely goshawful drawing of no resale value whatsoever. I may do it on notebook paper. It might be stick figures.
* $1 off your order. (I'll process it upon receipt.)
* The thanks I owe you.
Those are your choices: Free MVA #1, free crappy sketch, $1 off or thanks.
NOTE: This special offer for MD readers is IN ADDITION TO the specials already on the Comic Relief site! I just noticed that those offers from February were still up, so I'm letting them run.
If you don't want to shop for comic books, but you still want to help out, here are a few other ways:
Should you buy Collectorz's Comic book software with the database, I think there's some kind of "who referred you" question when you register it. If you mention my fanzing-AT-fanzing-DOTCOM address, I think I get a quarter or something. I can't recall what the deal was; it's been ages since I installed mine. Maybe they aren't even doing that anymore.
And if you're shopping at Amazon, use my link to Amazon. In fact, if you're feeling really generous, right click on that and add it to your bookmarks and just make that your Amazon bookmark instead of just going to Amazon.com. If you shop today, it still counts as the second quarter and then I'll get that cash in a couple weeks.
I'm not looking for flat-out donations or anything like that. Things aren't desperate. Save that money for the next time Erik Burnham's car breaks down. However, if any of these goods are things your looking for right now, keep this in mind.
Thank you, and have a happy Independence Day. (To you Brits, happy July 3rd Dependence Day!)
Hey, one of our readers, Chris Booth of City Hall, appears to be part of a comedy team. Cool!
I bet these guys are really, seriously super-funny. I mean...
well...
OK, Chris hasn't said anything funny yet, and there isn't anything actually funny on the web site, but I'm sure they're a riot. So, go call them and book their group at your club. I want to support our buddies and I'm sure they're funny. Really funny.
I mean, look at their pictures on the site. They're making faces. That's funny. Maybe they make faces for two hours. I could see that being hilarious.
And one of them wears a hood! Like Kenny! Hoods are funny. You'd better book the hood guy quick, 'cause hoods are just super-funny. Here in the midwest, where everyone wears them, it's almost impossible to go anywhere because people are wearing hoods and we all fall down laughing.
Hoods. Heh heh heh. Man, that's funny.
All right, in all seriousness, I have to admit that Luis' mailbag (which for some reason is under the PSA link) gave me a good laugh. I needed one. It's been a long day.
(If you can't tease a comedy team, who can you tease? Besides, he said he's never going to visit the site anymore, so he'll never see this.)
A belated hearty congratulations to our friend Joshua Elder for this Wednesday's debut of his new book, Mail Order Ninja. I even missed the chance to plug Josh's announcement and seven page preview!
Mea culpa, Josh.
Hilariously tragic news today. Notfunnyman Rob Schneider was Taken to Hospital After Collapsing on Movie Set.
Doctors say his movie career will never walk again.
I need to add a link to our Frappr map on the site somewhere, but until I do here it is again.
(Alternate subject heading: "I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got.")
In DC Comics' new 52 #8 (or "52 Week 8" or however you want to refer to it), a shopkeeper in Star City emerges from his store yelling, "Stop! Thief!" The thief is running ahead of him with an armful of groceries and a dozen disposable diapers. Suddenly the grocer has a bolo arrow binding his feet. Explaining his actions to Ralph Dibny, Green Arrow says, "He said, 'Stop, Thief.' I aimed for the guy charging thirty bucks for disposable diapers in a disaster zone." Star City, as you probably know, was devastated by bombings two months earlier and is a disaster area short on supplies... and concerned citizen Oliver "Green Arrow" Queen is going to become the city's mayor at some point in the "next 10 months" of 52.
Now, Green Arrow is acting pretty much in character here, so even though I find this objectionable, it's true to his being a hopeless bleeding heart leftover. One might even find it in keeping with the common ideal of Robin Hood "robbing the rich and giving to the poor", though this just shows a lack of understanding of Robin Hood who was against oppressive taxation in a monarchy where the poor had no recourse.
Of course, if Green Arrow is so sure that 'profiteers' are thieves and it's okay for the shoplifter to escape, why hasn't he actively bound the grocer and invited everyone in the area to take all the man has? Green Arrow seems to think that it's acceptable for the shopkeeper to have his possessions taken away. Again, it's actually fine that Green Arrow has an incoherent philosophy that he doesn't think through, or he wouldn't be the Oliver Queen we know and love.
My big problem with this is: Does the writer (whomever he may be...Johns, Waid, Morrison or Rucka...for this page of the story) understand why this is wrong? Is this scene perpetuating a bias against "price gouging" which in turn actually damages the poor of our society? This misunderstanding of the profit motive has real-world consequences and it hurts real people.
Before you think I'm making too much of this, read on.
I was reading through Beau Smith's new column extolling the virtues of the DC Showcase / Marvel Essentials and it hit me that I'm only seven days away from having in my hot little hands the book that I have dreamed of for ten years: Showcase Presents: Elongated Man. The fact that this book actually exists makes me wonder if someone in DC's publishing wing read my "How To Save the Comic Book Industry" and thought my suggestion was a good idea. All right, enough ego...perhaps it's just that "Identity Crisis" and "52" have raised Ralph Dibny's profile. (I do think it would have been smart to have such a book out ahead of "Identity Crisis" so that I wasn't the only person in the world who thought the loss of Sue Dibny was a tragedy.)
I've noticed something odd. Amazon still doesn't have cover art. Nor does DC! I'm sure it's a problem because Ralph's best stories are backup stories and they don't have a dramatic cover that can be recycled. Hopefully they have someone working on it. They only have seven days.
Seven days! Glee! Huzzah! IT MUST BE MINE!!!
You probably know a lot of these "Things You Don't Know About Superman" because you're much more informed than the readership this article is aimed at. But I was surprised to read about the two cameos in the movie.
For a character created by two Jewish kids as a "Moses from outer space," Superman certainly seems to inspire Christian allegories. I just spotted the brand new book "The Gospel According To The World's Greatest Superhero" and it points out that the Kents were originally named Joseph and Mary, so at least some of this was intentional as well.
You can also find "The Gospel According to Superheroes: Religion And Popular Culture."
I believe this was started by 1965's "The Gospel According To Peanuts." My dad had that book, as well as the now out-of-print "The Gospel According To Superman." Dad also had a cartoon on his church office door that showed a dramatic picture of Superman, with the text (I'm paraphrasing), "A man was sent to Earth by his father to be raised by mortals. Gifted with extraordinary abilities, he performed miracles, helping the weak, sick and helpless. His many enemies tried to kill him, but he was willing to sacrifice himself to save mankind." At Superman's feet, there is a final line of text: "THIS is not him."
And all these Christ comparisons remind me of this:
Saint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go the bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus agrees.As Jesus is standing there, he sees an old man leading a donkey up from Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has carpenter's tools with him. When the old man gets to the gates, Jesus asks him to describe his life and explain why he feels he should be admitted into heaven.
The man explains, "In English, my name would be Joseph, though I'm not from England. I lived a modest life near the Mediterranean Sea, making things out of wood. I'm not remembered very well by most people, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I call him my son, but I was more of a Dad to him, he didn't really come into this world in the usual way.
I sent my son out to be among the people of the World. He was ridiculed by many, and was even known to associate himself with some pretty unsavory characters, although he himself tried to be honest and perfect. My single biggest reason for trying to get into Heaven is to be reunited with my son. I'll recognize him by the nails in his hands and feet from when he was on a cross."
Jesus is awe-struck by the man's story. He looks into the old man's eyes and asks, "Father?"
The old man's face brightens; he looks at Jesus, and asks, "Pinocchio?"
Megan Basham likes "Superman Returns" and points out how fortunate we are to get a movie like this considering the decade-long fight to bring him back and what previous creators wanted to do with him.
Superman Returns gets two stars and a review which makes it sound like Ebert was charitable in the stars section.
UPDATE: Please note that there are puh-lenty of spoilers in this review.
The Agony Booth reviews Superman IV. I'm sending you there and I've yet to read a word of it.
It's going to hurt.
And it's going to hurt for 12 pages!
It's a 12 page long review! That's stunning. Because even Agony Booth's classic review of Mr. T's "Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool" is only nine pages. The "so-unwatchable-it-was-squelched" Fantastic Four movie only took seven pages. The Armageddon mega-review took 13 pages, but that's because it was broken into 15 minute segments.
However, Batman and Robin took 13 pages. Maybe bad comic book movies need more time to explore because they're bad in so many ways.
So, wow. 12 pages. It even has video segments!
Like...the "Rebuild-the-Great-Wall-Of-China" Vision scene!
UPDATE: THE CONTEST IS NOW OVER. COMMENTS CLOSED.
To celebrate the debut of "Superman Returns", Monitor Duty is holding a a contest to give away a Kryptonite Pen and a Superman Returns poster.
In reviewing all of the advance publicity about the new Superman movie, I found one intriguing question: why are Superman movies always about Lex Luthor? Lex is his arch-enemy, of course, but he's the least showy of all possible enemies. Of course, given the cost of special effects, a villain whose power is that he sneers while being bald is much cheaper to put on screen. Granted. But, if this movie is profitable enough, there should certainly be a sequel. Who would you want as a villain (see a list of Superman's Rogue's Gallery), and why? More Lex Luthor? "More" Phantom Zone villains (given that the original Superman movies are still in continuity, they'd be returning)? Brainiac? Mr. Mxyzptlk? Parasite? Metallo? How about Terra-Man, the space cowboy who rides a flying horse?
That question inspired the new contest. Thank you to the folks at the WB for donating our prizes.
TO ENTER:
1) Reply to this message. You must use a valid e-mail address. (Set up a Typekey account if you like.) This e-mail address will be used to contact you if you win. You will only be asked for a mailing address upon winning so that the prizes may be sent to you. Sorry, USA/Canada shipping only for these prizes.
2) Answer this question in your reply: For the sequel to Superman Returns, who would you like to see as the villain? The answer may be as short as you like; about 100 words or less. All entries must have some answer to the question. Your answer will not be graded; all answers will qualify.
3) ALL qualifying entries will be entered in a drawing upon conclusion of this contest at MIDNIGHT Central Time on JULY 4th 2006. The winners will be chosen at random and announced on July 5th.
4) The Grand Prize Winner will receive a Superman Returns Kryptonite Pen and a Superman Returns one-sheet poster.
5) The runner up will receive a Superman Returns one-sheet poster.
6) Michael Hutchison of Monitor Duty is not eligible. All other contributors are as eligible as anyone else.
The Grand Prize Winner for the Lake House Contest is:
"Mary Wingo"
The second prize winner is:
"Ro Laren" (Ensign Ro?)
I will make arrangements for the delivery of their prizes shortly.
We will be having a very short Superman Returns contest which will begin on Saturday and run for a week. Watch for it!
I promised my bud Beau Smith that I'd review his comic "Cobb: Off The Leash" when it came out, and I apologize that I haven't had time to do so til now. And yes, I said buddy. In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you all that I like Beau Smith, he and I correspond by e-mail from time to time, and by the time we finally meet at some convention I'll probably have enough "buy you a beer" offers from him to pass them around the entire bar. I even named a prison after him in "Metro Med" #0. So I may as well admit, I'm fully compromised here. Beau's been warned that I'm going to be honest with what I like and dislike about the book, because my first commitment is to the Monitor Duty readership. I just wish I hated the book because a bad review is the only kind you all will believe is genuine.
Unfortunately for "my credibility", and fortunately for Beau, "Cobb: Off The Leash #1" is intense, joyfully violent, quite humorous and full of promise that the two remaining issues will just be even more packed with excitement now that the setup is done. Cobb has been getting great reviews and there are only a few hundred copies of the first issue left.
Short review: Go buy it right now.
Long review: Read on!
Sorry for the last minute notice, but the new straight-to-DVD movie "Superman: Brainiac Attacks" is on Cartoon Network for "free" today at noon and (3:00PM Central time).
Want to win Lake House free stuff? You have until June 20th! Better hurry!
Chuck Dixon has a new article about the Seven Deadly Fans. And if anyone feels like doing up an illustration to accompany it, you'll be happy to know that Chuck has a contest!
Another real life superhero...er, villain: foot fetishist dressed as Superman.
LIBERTAS Movie Review: Superman Returns contains spoilers and much grumpiness. Take it with a grain of salt since the reviewer is predisposed against comic book movies anyway.
The bunnies present: Superman, the Movie in 30 seconds!
Sure, they haven't evolved since the dinosaur era but new sharks are still being discovered! They've found a new species of hammerhead shark. This one has a comfort grip.
Star Trek vs. Star Wars. The editing isn't the best, but it's still a work of genius.
Here's a dream come true: a young man heard a woman shouting "Stop! Thief!" after a pursesnatcher robbed her. He sprang into action and helped corral the bad guy, retrieving the purse.
Why a dream come true? Because he was WEARING A SUPERHERO COSTUME when he heard the damsel in distress!
See, he works for Galactic Pizza in Uptown Minneapolis. Uptown, for those of you who don't know, is one of those eclectic little shopping areas where you find an old-fashioned theater showing midnight movies, the College of Comic Book Knowledge, record stores, the Uptown art fair, pot, etc. Lots of young people making good money, paying low rent and opening experimental businesses. (I just checked out their web site and "eclectic" is also the first adjective they use. Huh. I swear I hadn't seen the site when I chose that word above.)
Galactic Pizza is an eco-friendly pizza place with electric delivery vehicles, hemp products, recycled pizza boxes, wind-powered electricity, vegan menus, 5% of net profits go to charity, etc. They're so anti-business that they don't even use a readable font for their website's nav bar. (I'm teasing, of course, It actually sounds like a great place.) To emphasize that they are the good guys of the pizza delivery companies, all of their employees wear superhero tights and a cape. They don't appear to have superhero names, but I could suggest a few.
(Actually, here he resembles the guy from Lode Runner.
Anyway, here's the adventure of this ultra-rare superhero opportunity.
Holy pepperoni! Caped crusader stops purse thief
(NOTE TO AMERICAN PRESS: It has been 37 years since the Batman TV show. Most young people haven't even seen it. It is, therefore, probably a good idea to stop using "HOLY ___!" and "POW! BAM!" in EVERY! SINGLE! ARTICLE! that is related to comic books. If not for the young people, do it for my sake.)
In "Star Wars" (1977), Ben Kenobi tells Luke right off the bat about Darth Vader being a former pupil (note: none of this "padawan" nonsense - I get so sick of that word in the new trilogy). This means that Obi Wan knows who Darth is behind the mask.
How?
This came up in a typical office discussion about how George Lucas didn't even bother to reacquaint himself with what he wrote in the first trilogy before writing the prequels. At the end of "Sith", Obi Wan leaves his pupil burning to death and legless on a lava planet. How the heck does he know who Darth Vader is?
I'm going to have to rewatch it tonight. Perhaps there's something I'm missing. (Jeez, how bad was that movie that this doesn't even strike me as a pleasant assignment? I guarantee you, if I had to rewatch "Empire" I wouldn't complain.)
Bob & Brian's Camping Story podcasts are hilarious, especially this bear story, though the hatchet accident is a close second. (To subscribe to their podcasts, just paste http://www.BobAndBrian.com/pod/BB_onDemand.xml into your iTunes or other Podcasting program.)
A dissatisfied fan rejects foam rubber and opts for real rock in building The Ultimate Thing Costume. It's made of stone and weighs 110 pounds.
Many of us have mused that superheroines in comics tend to look like naked women with lines drawn to make it look like there's a costume. Some characters have even been exploitative of this fact, like Girl One in "Top 10" and The Engineer of "The Authority."
Surely, some artists are having us on. And they have a point. If Jim Balent was drawing Catwoman naked there'd be a massive outcry, but so long as he colors the body purple and doesn't draw in the nipples it's perfectly OK to have this nude woman with thundering bazooms splayed across every page in exotic poses.
Now, Scott Adams has fun with the same concept in The Case of Asok's Underpants, in which the underpants are clearly just a waistband line added to a nude drawing that was getting him in hot water.
(And yes, Mr. "Scotland isn't England", I know Jim Balent isn't the colorist. I'm pretty sure you all know what I mean.)
I can't get away from Keanu Reeves, it seems.
Keanu wants to settle down, buy a house and raise a family now that he's turned 41.
FYI: I know Keanu has the rep for being a wooden surfer dunce, but many people say that he's a genuinely nice guy. Here's hoping he finds domestic bliss.
Or at least a bowl of Corn Flakes, since they seem to make him happy.
For those who complain that too many of today's movies are rather "same-y" and don't have enough imagination, I just stumbled across these trailers.
Nicolas Cage stars in a remake of "The Wicker Man," based on a relatively-unknown British film of the early 1970s. Sadly, I already know how this movie ends even though I never saw the 1975 original. There was a 2004 Halloween countdown of the 100 scariest moments in the movies on cable (was it Bravo?), and the Wicker Man's ending was one of them. Unfortunate that for many of the movies, they spoiled so many of the films that the viewer may not have seen by giving away the finale. Their description of the Wicker Man made me want to check it out, but then they ruin it for me.
The film is about a policeman who is tracking down a missing girl and must investigate a closed community. The original film has a pagan cult living on an island in England Scotland; the "fish out of water" movie follows the establishment Christian as he confronts the pagan hippies. Whether this new film contains any of those dynamics, given the changing times, it is too soon to tell. (Yes, Sean Connery, I know that Scotland isn't England exactly. I was imprecise.)
Richard Linklater's "A Scanner Darkly", based on a work by Philip K. Dick (whose writings spawned "Blade Runner" and "Paycheck"), features Keanu Reeves, Woody Harrelson and Winona Ryder. I know, that sounds like the guest list for Christopher Walken's Psychic Friends, but check this out: it's animated. Not animated like "The Incredibles", but with that new weird computer-enhanced rotoscoping method that I've seen on some recent financial commercials. I have no clue wha tthe movie is about, aside from that it's five years in the future and concerns the paranoia of being constantly monitored, but it's WEIRD. You've got to give it that.
UPDATE: THE CONTEST IS NOW OVER. COMMENTS CLOSED.
In association with Warner Brothers, Monitor Duty will be running a few contests this summer to give away movie merchandise.
The first will be a drawing for the new romance/fantasy movie "The Lake House," opening June 16th. (View the trailer) It reunites "Speed" stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, although "reunites" may not be the right word, as it's about two people who correspond via letters and find that they are living two years apart. She lives in 2006; he lived in her house in 2004. They begin testing the limits of their correspondence and trying to find some way to connect in person.
It's either a time travel movie you can take a ladyfriend to, or a "chick flick" with just enough sci-fi for guys, I'm not sure which. All I know is that I watched the trailer on my computer while I was preparing this item and now my wife wants to go see it!
I kept joking that if I was in Sandra's place, I'd tell Keanu to call Vegas and put all his money on Bush winning the election in November and by the exact number of voters. Yeah, I know, I have a mercenary mind. Then again, I wrote "Melvin and Marvin Middler, Time Meddlers" back in Shooting Star Comics Anthology #4, so I guess that tends to be my take on time travel.
Then it hit me: that will be our challenge for "The Lake House" contest. It's going to be a simple drawing, but you have to qualify to enter.
TO ENTER:
1) Reply to this message. You must use a valid e-mail address. (Set up a Typekey account if you like.) This e-mail address will be used to contact you if you win. You will only be asked for a mailing address upon winning so that the prizes may be sent to you. Sorry, USA/Canada shipping only for these prizes.
2) Answer this question in your reply: If you could send a letter to a person living two years ago, what would you do? The answer may be as short as you like; about 100 words or less. All entries must have some answer to the question. Your answer will not be graded; all answers will qualify.
3) ALL qualifying entries will be entered in a drawing upon conclusion of this contest at MIDNIGHT Central Time on JUNE 20th 2006. The winners will be chosen at random and announced on June 21st.
4) The Grand Prize Winner will receive a Lake House poster, tote bag and tee shirt. The Tee shirt comes in pink; winners not wanting the women's pink T-shirt may opt for a clock post-it holder.
5) The runner up will receive a Lake House poster and a keychain.
6) Michael Hutchison of Monitor Duty is not eligible. All other contributors are as eligible as anyone else.
Watch for our "Superman Returns" contest in a few days.
Michael Kim's "Hollywood Economics" has a large section on Avi Arad's jump from Marvel to his own production company. Here's a taste:
Just when he helped produced the biggest X-Men movie to date, Avi Arad is leaving as head of Marvel Studio to set up his own production company to be called Avi Arad Prods. Some of the first movies Avi will produce are two future Marvel movies including a sequel to Hulk and Ant Man. As a condition Marvel set for allowing Mr. Arad to leave is he is not allowed to produce a movie based on non-Marvel comic book characters and movies from the sci-fi and fantasy genre. ... One possible reason Mr. Arad left, including selling over 3 mm shares of stock in Marvel, is he disagreed with Marvel’s decision to borrow over $500 mm to finance production of its own movies. ...One reason Marvel is taking the risk of financing future movies is it’s not getting much of a slice from the enormous pie generated by movies like the recent smash hit X-Men: The Last Stand.
Scientists have found what may be the largest armored dinosaur in the world. However, they haven't named it.
I hope they don't give it a dumb and unmemorable name. James Lileks (listen via RadioBlogger) thinks that it should be called Fearsomus Gigantor: "...we need names like Tyrannosaurus Rex to strike fear into the hearts of eight year old boys."
This is the original video that led to Stewart Gilligan Griffin's evaluation of it as "being cool".
Day By Day kicks off a new story arc! This should be interesting.