The Penguin's origin doesn't work anymore

I've been thinking about the origin of the Penguin. No particular reason, but when a friend advised me to come up with some new material to pitch to DC (what with so many of my traditional faves being kaput or inaccessible) I started thinking of characters I'd like to update. The origin of Oswald Cobblepot is one I'd love to retell and expand upon, since I think I could do a very credible story of a put-upon kid forced to carry an umbrella by his mother.

In case you don't know, Oswald's dad died of pneumonia from being caught in the rain unprotected, so his mom ordered him to always have an umbrella handy. This naturally makes him a laughing stock with the other kids, and thus his resentments begin to build etc. etc.

I had the story pretty well roughed out. And then I realized...

These days, he could just put a collapsible umbrella in his pocket and no one would laugh. His origin has been utterly ruined by technology. Oh, granted, Oswald is like 40-50 years old and so they didn't have them quite yet in his childhood, but he'll be getting there as the timeline continues to slide.